I am

..a native wetlander, lost in questionable theories and unexplained circumstances...

"For many who have not studied it, alchemy is nothing but a pile of dreams and ramblings, due to man's vain attempt to make artificial gold out of what he himself is made of--either out of--a sordid love or pride that makes him want to be equal to the Creator. Anyhow, those who study alchemy without these inferiority complexes are soon charmed by something indescribable. And in the dark edifice of the sciences of the Middle Ages, this one in particular shine like a giant rose--silent and immobile, far from the vulgarities of life and is bathed in the ineffable light of sleeping cathedrals."
-Grillot de Givry

Sunday, September 2, 2012


Originally uploaded by Balyak

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Hewlett Fire

..the canyon right next to my current home has recently caught on fire..
a good little portion of the forest was in flames for about 4 to 5 days straight. Now this saddened me.. very much so that it was actually my first encounter/experience with a disaster like this that I was ...
well.. off my rockers? not myself?..
for a little while.

my first reaction is to help the evacuation center they stationed closer to town..
when me and Jes stopped by the center they seemed to have it all handled they just needed donations for supplies..food..
not labor which is all I had to offer. (they are quite use to forests fires I suppose)

second reaction... freak-out.. what about my favorite trails..
where are the animals going to go?.. will they fall in the rushing river? and will I see animal corpses floating through town?..
of course this is not the case..

the 'fire' life is my friend's career and she had to reassure me this is actually good for the canyon..
burned wood is good for the soil.. and we have a number of beetle killed trees in our mountains.. (beetles that eat holes into the bark and slowly kill the trees)..
that a fire is the only way to restore what the forest lost..
in fact fire fighters.. true fire fighters who deal with forests.. purposely burn beetle killed wood... to save the habitat.

this doodling/sketch is a slight way to cope with a disaster..express it..
how would I picture the good side of a forest fire..


Friday, May 18, 2012

Big Sir - Born with a Tear (Sessions 65)


Friday, May 11, 2012

Feminine Factor in the World Religions - Manly P. Hall

In my perspective.. or what I've seen thus far..
a greater percentage of human beings are attracted to a great and/or almost perfect composition.
it is more common in a universal sense..
there is an engraving..standard geometric system in the mind..
maybe just perception.
but it's almost perfect.
this might be a certain common sense thing to think about...
but I need to blab it out...

for some odd reason.

("In the visual arts – in particular painting, graphic design, photography and sculpture – composition is the placement or arrangement of visual elements or ingredients in a work of art or a photograph, as distinct from the subject of a work. It can also be thought of as the organization of the elements of art according to the principles of art."

and then I clicked on 'principles of art'

"The principles of visual art are the rules, tools and/or guidelines that artists use to organize the elements of art in an artwork. When successfully combined with the elements of art they aid in creating an aesthetically pleasing or interesting work of art.[1][2] Some principles of art that have been identified are movement, unity, harmony, variety, balance, rhythmn, emphasis, contrast, proportion, and pattern. This list may vary, according to the art educator, but encompasses the generally accepted principles. Rhythmn and pattern are often combined in art education texts."

and then I clicked on 'elements of art'

"The elements of art are a commonly used group of aspects of a work of art used in teaching and analysis, in combination with the principles of art, objects placed at a distances are rendered with less details, clarity, and intensity than the closer ones. Three-dimensional space work is created with the help of shading, which gives it a feeling of depth. Space can also be created by overlapping objects."

and THEN I clicked on 'work of art'

"A work of art, artwork, art piece, or art object is an aesthetic item or artistic creation. The term "a work of art" can apply to:

* an example of fine art, such as a painting or sculpture
* a fine work of architecture or landscape design
* an object that has been designed specifically for its aesthetic appeal, such as a piece of jewellery
* an object that has been designed for aesthetic appeal as well as functional purpose, such as a table lamp
* a photograph, film or visual computer program
* a work of conceptual art or performance art
* a production of live performance, such as theater, ballet or opera
* an interactive game

The term "objets d′art" can be a synonym, a popularized version for interior design commerce, or a vulgarism of pretension. This article is concerned with the "work of art" term and concept as used in and applied to the visual arts, although other fields such as aural-music and written word-literature have similar issues and philosophies.

The term oeuvre is used to describe the complete body of work completed by an artist during their career.[2]

* 1 Definition
* 2 Theories
* 3 Distinctions
* 4 See also
* 5 References
* 6 Further reading
* 7 External links

[edit] Definition

A work of art in the visual arts is a physical two or three dimensional object that is professionally determined or other wise considered to fulfill a primarily independent aesthetic function. A singular art object is often seen in the context of a larger art movement or artistic era, such as: a genre, aesthetic convention, culture, or regional-national distinction.[3] It can also be seen as an item within an artist's "body of work" or oeuvre. The term is commonly used by: museum and cultural heritage curators, the interested public, the art patron-private art collector community, and art galleries.[4]
Chinese Jade ornament with grapes vine, (1115–1234 CE)
Leadlight window from the 1920s
Gold and enamel purse clasp, Saxon

Physical objects that document immaterial or conceptual art works, but do not conform to artistic conventions can be redefined and reclassified as art objects. Some Dada and Neo-Dada conceptual and readymade works have received later inclusion. Also, some architectural renderings and models of unbuilt projects, such as by Vitruvius, Leonardo da Vinci, Frank Lloyd Wright, and Frank Gehry, are other examples.

The products of environmental design, depending on intention and execution, can be "works of art" and include: land art, site-specific art, architecture, gardens, landscape architecture, installation art, rock art, and megalithic monuments.

Legal definitions of "work of art" are used in copyright law; see Visual arts#United States of America copyright definition of visual art.
[edit] Theories

Marcel Duchamp critiqued the idea that the objet d’art should be a unique product of an artist's labour, representational of their technical skill and/or artistic caprice.[5] Theorists have argued that objects and people do not have a constant meaning, but their meanings are fashioned by humans in the context of their culture, as they have the ability to make things mean or signify something.[6]

Artist Michael Craig-Martin, creator of An Oak Tree, said of his work - "It's not a symbol. I have changed the physical substance of the glass of water into that of an oak tree. I didn't change its appearance. The actual oak tree is physically present, but in the form of a glass of water." [7]
[edit] Distinctions
The original Fountain by Marcel Duchamp, 1917, photographed by Alfred Stieglitz at his 291 after the 1917 Society of Independent Artists exhibit.

Some art theorists and writers have long made a distinction between the physical qualities of an art object and its identity-status as an artwork.[8] For example, a painting by Rembrandt has a physical existence as an "oil painting on canvas" that is separate from its identity as a masterpiece "work of art" or the artist's magnum opus.[9] Many works of art are initially denied "museum quality" or artistic merit, and later become accepted and valued in museum and private collections. Works by the Impressionists and non-representational abstract artists are examples. Some, such as the "Readymades" of Marcel Duchamp including his infamous 'urinal "Fountain'", are later reproduced as "museum quality replicas".

There is an indefinite distinction, for current or historical aesthetic items: between "fine art" objects made by "artists"; and folk art, craft-work, or "applied art" objects made by "first, second, or third-world" designers, artisans and craftspeople. Contemporary and archeological indigenous art, industrial design items in limited or mass production, and places created by environmental designers and cultural landscapes, are some examples. The term has been consistently available for debate, reconsideration, and redefinition."

ah hum. wikipedia.. oh wise dictionary of cyber networking.

(can't stop bouncing my hand on my mouth while saying "om..")

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


....nothing is more fatal than the progress of the human mind.

April showers is here..
my herbs I planted from little seedlings are flourishing..
and the streets are covered with flower pedals.

I took my first "journey" in the mountains..
in the continental divide in fact..
and it twas..

what I needed?

what we needed.

I think I now know what I need to do..
or I at least know where the ledge is for that first leaping jump.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

aaand here I am..

it has been quite some time since I uploaded.. "words"..
but here.. still I am.. I have not forgotten you.

Riding my bike.. 6 or so in the morning heading to work..
the air having that bluey like fluid/muggy/mystique feel.. the sun slowly surfacing with bits of pinks emerging in the paint strokes in the sky..

for a Saturday not many people are ever up this early in the morning..

there on the hilly road (which is one of my many struggles of every morning) a fox is digging a hole next to a tree.. prying with his teeth at the grass.. pawing vigorously..

I of course.. slowly.. braked... 2 feet from him..

there he stood for a second and then on he went with his task..
staring at me all the while..

first my thoughts are..but of course..
"where's my frick'n camera??"
second... I ignored it for the simple fact.. I'd much rather enjoy this moment..
"everythings really really blue this morning."

so back to this bluey like mystiqueness in the air...
there was something in it.. with his orange and beautiful amber eyes staring up at me..
he glowed.. like there was this fluorescent halo... aura.. all around him..
and I felt he neither cared or maybe he was comfortable with my presence..

for once.. in quite some time since I moved to the mountains..
I took a long breath..
I've wearied my self..

working overtime for months straight..
and filling the gaps in with as much explorations as possible..
I've literally either have lost the grasp of me as a whole..
or a very important piece..
I am part of a working machine...
and my "whole" was slowing things down.

this beautiful creature.. may it be 5 minutes or 20..I really do not recall..
is what some would call a 'gentle' slap in the face..

it's why I tend to have this passion to take care, love, and be infatuated with creatures that are not my own species.. per say... they sort of.. get rid of the ego.. there's a selflessness that ensures the world is still beautiful.. strange.. and mysterious.
they are my guides.

so it's come to this..
I need to paint..I need it badly..
I need to lock myself up for a day a week..

and get on with it..

not just paint..

but write..






A very very good friend told me just the other day..
"Kayla I don't want you to lose your self."
of course in mid of a psychotic rant of wondering "what now?"

I can't get that out of my head.
and she's right.

maybe she was in a way that fox.. a reminder..
to not get caught up..
you once had a mission..

now finish it.. or try dieing to.

(and chugs another glass of wine)

I could be missing the mission..
I've created things since I was little..very little.. maybe too little ha.
Maybe I once.. for a life.. took a break to enjoy..
and I wasn't built to just enjoy..
maybe I was built to not sleep...til every single thing I want to show the world..
say to the world.. is out..

and I've pushed it aside..
and is now whining for my own doings..

all in all I can say these things..
be confused.. try to justify them in any order my logical side of my brain can come up with..

but I need to come to terms that every tree.. the paths in which the branches split off to..
comes from a main circuit ..a root.

it's up to the surroundings, the air, how well we take care of the earth(and of ourselves).. to find out how far those branches will reach... split.. and make new paths..

I need to take care of myself could be the answer..
to the question I really don't have a 'question' for.

I need more foxes in my life..

Friday, February 3, 2012

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


Originally uploaded by Balyak

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Friday, November 25, 2011

How can one justify their own internal battles..




and soul?...perhaps..

a blazing madman is inside.. trying to claw it's way out...

I'm trying to justify the prickling urge to push.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Sunday, October 16, 2011

and that is all.

Sunday, September 25, 2011


...and I suppose I should say...
............breathe in union.............

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

more and more..
I feel I'm still searching through creepy tunnels..
Toward all those pretty lights.

Friday, August 26, 2011

“Our souls sit close and silently within,
And their own webs from their own entrails spin;
And when eyes meet far off, our sense is such,
That, spider-like, we feel the tenderest touch.”

..had a dream last night that I walked upon a gray wooden house in the middle of this gray atmosphere of a swamp...
the front yard and house was covered in mosquito netting..
when I lifted the netting and went inside there was a lanky brown exotic looking monkey with purple hands sitting in front of the door... a man with sunken in cheeks and droopy eyes approached me from behind..
he said " This is the ghost of my Wife.. the purple hands are a sign of her beautiful disease."

Wednesday, August 17, 2011